The Blonde's Attack

     My teacher Nancy excuses us and we go to grab our lunchboxes from our little wooden cubbies. I pick mine up and head outside to the corner under the tree where my friends and I usually sit for lunch. I look up and see a glint of shiny blonde hair walking toward me with a head of curly brown hair beside. As my friends approach, I move over to make a spot beside me. Zaliah with curly hair sits down, Mia next to her. Zaliah fills me in on their conversation.
    “We were talking about how in P.E. yesterday Jacob kicked his shoe off in kickball,” she laughs. This was not all that funny, but for immature us at that time, it was.
    “Haha I know that was sooo funny..... it went like ten feet in the air!” I jump right in. Mia is silent on Zaliah’s other side, snacking from a bag of pretzels.
    That was my life in the fifth grade. My friends and my school, all so small and sheltered. I vividly remember those uneven wooden benches under the huge drooping tree, wood chips piling by our feet. I had one group of friends for six years, but things slowly changed. The sun and the rain and the courtyard in between classrooms was my social playground. My best friends were Zaliah and Mia, but my class was so small that I was friends with and played with everyone. I had never made enemies, but Mia turned into one, her t-shirt and jeans stabbing me in the back. She was nice but in a way that had greed and a sour taste underlying all that she said.

So many funny things happen in P.E.! I wonder why Mia is so quiet.....

    “You want some pretzels, Zaliah?” Mia butts in, changing the subject.
    “Uh....sure, I guess....” she replies hesitantly, grabbing a handful. Zaliah tries to be fair, and doesn’t want to cause a problem between anyone.

Why wasn’t I offered any pretzels? I don’t like pretzels, but still. It would have been nice if she shared them with both of us. Mia goes back to a brooding silence, her blonde hair swishing to cover her face. Zaliah fills the quiet:

    “We should make a video of all of the funny things that happen in P.E.,” she gushes innocently, still giggling.
    “Yeah, that would be so funny,” I reply half heartedly.
    I take another nibble at my peanut butter and jelly sandwich, my appetite lessening by the minute. Mia looks up at Zaliah, her eyes avoiding me like oil in water. The teacher on lunch duty suddenly says we can be released to go to recess so we stand up and walk toward the classroom. I trail behind, the annoying murmur of their conversation buzzing into my ears like bees. After setting down my lunch and going outside to find them, I am confused. We always meet on the four-square court and play there for most of recess, but they aren’t there. They are on the swings, the chains clinking back and forth. Incidentally, there are only two swings. I approach to see what is going on.
    “Hey, I thought we were going to play four-square?” I question shrilly.
    “No, I don’t want to,” Mia replies, bossy as always.
    “OK...Can I have a turn swinging?” I am unsure of what to do, trying to be fair.
    “No. Not right now,” Mia immediately counters, her snarky voice biting my ears.
    “You can use mine if you want,” Zaliah adds, wanting me to stay and play with them.
    “No, thanks anyway.... I’ll just go do something else,” I quietly respond, not having the energy to stick around and fight with Mia.
    My thoughts are swirling around my head in random, incomprehensible patterns. I don’t know how to counter Mia’s original task of ignoring me, and now the passive aggressiveness.  She is obviously trying to get rid of me. I slowly walk away, trying to keep my dignity intact.
    Union Street Charter, my school, was always a very mellow and kind place, where everyone treated each other with respect. Even a fight or blowout was fairly gentle. I wasn’t accustomed to this weird attitude from my friend.

I walk onto the blacktop and jump into a game of foursquare with Kaela, Brenna, and Kirsten. I laugh and try to ignore the nagging mass in the back of my mind as the game progresses and Mia and Zaliah are nowhere to be found. Out of the blue they walk up and my joyful words die in my throat. I imagine shrinking, getting smaller; that view makes everyone else seem awfully big. Brenna gets out in the square next to me and I move up, Mia jumping into the now open space. Kaela starts the ball loudly bouncing around, and it goes to Mia. She smacks it at me hard, the noise stinging my ears. I barely make it, hitting it over to Kirsten. The ball circles around, every now and then an attack coming from Mia. The sun glints off of her hair, stinging my eyes.

    “Here, Kaela,” she feigns left then sends the ball back to me, and I am caught off guard. I reach to hit it, but to no avail. She laughs, adding, “You’re out,” a devilish smile staring me down. Having successfully gotten rid of me, she calls for Zaliah and they make their way up to the tire swing, leaving me in the dust. The buzz of mindless recess noise fills my ears, and I sigh.
    I had been friends with Mia forever, and I didn’t want to lose her. I could remember playing dolls in her loft, and sleeping over at her house. She was pushing me away, and trying to take Zaliah with her. She didn’t want to be friends with me, but she did want Zaliah. Because of this, she decided that I shouldn’t get to be friends with either of them. Mia always had to get what she wanted. Sometimes, it seemed like Zaliah was our glue, our common denominator. She was pulling herself, and our glue, apart.
    “Your turn,” Brenna’s inviting voice brings me out of my thoughts, back into the glaring sun and the wet smell of the puddles on the field.
    “No thanks, I’ve got to go,” I say sadly, slowly traipsing up the playground toward the tire swing. I reach it and clench my fists, imagining a diplomatic resolution.
    “Hey, can I have a turn? I’ll push the swing first,” I offer, jutting into their exclusive conversation.
    “No, I just want to push, but only one person right now,” she says crankily, and I feel a mental slap. I take one step backwards then turn around, walking away.  
    In the end, Mia did get to be friends with Zaliah. A few months later, she invited Zaliah and a few others to go shadow at Laurel Tree School, and she didn’t ask me. She and Zaliah ended up going to Laurel Tree for sixth grade, leaving me to fend for myself. I suppose eventually that turned out as a good thing. I went to Trinidad School alone, and made lots of new friends without them. Dealing with Mia taught me a lot about people. She showed me that sometimes, a turn for the worse can lead to a turn for the better. I was always nice to her, and she was one of those frenemies that just couldn’t reciprocate. There are some people that act like that, but oftentimes they lead to people who are better and show how valuable the good people are.

Walking away from the playground, wood chips in my shoes bite into my feet; I don’t stop to get them out. I sit down on a bench, out of the bright glare, waiting for recess to end. I turn to face away from the playground, anger welling up inside of me. My last glance of the hustle and bustle yields nothing more than the sun glinting off of her shiny, blonde hair.